Become a Better Lover

(We're talking about how to have great sex in a long-term relationship.)

12/29/20232 min read

a black and white photo of a woman's butt
a black and white photo of a woman's butt

In a long-term, monogamous relationship, maintaining a healthy and satisfying sex life is crucial. As the initial excitement and novelty wear off, it is essential to invest time and effort into nurturing the connection with your partner. By incorporating certain practices into your relationship, you can increase trust, intimacy, and spice in the bedroom. Here are ten practices to try with your partner:

1. Prioritize Open Communication

Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship, both inside and outside the bedroom. Encourage open and honest conversations about your desires, fantasies, and boundaries. Create a safe space where both partners can express their needs without judgment or criticism. Regularly check in with each other to ensure that you are on the same page and that both partners feel comfortable sharing their desires.

2. Explore Each Other's Fantasies

Exploring each other's fantasies can be an exciting way to deepen intimacy and spice up your sex life. Discuss your fantasies and desires with your partner, and be open to exploring new experiences together. Remember that consent and mutual agreement are essential in any exploration. By embracing each other's fantasies, you can create a sense of adventure and novelty in the bedroom.

3. Practice Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is the bond that goes beyond physical connection. Building emotional intimacy involves being vulnerable, supportive, and understanding with your partner. Take the time to connect on an emotional level by engaging in activities that foster emotional closeness, such as sharing your thoughts and feelings, engaging in deep conversations, and expressing affection outside of the bedroom. Emotional intimacy enhances trust and deepens the connection between partners.

4. Prioritize Quality Time Together

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to neglect quality time with your partner. Make a conscious effort to prioritize spending time together without distractions. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and that allow you to connect on a deeper level. Whether it's going for a walk, cooking together, or simply cuddling on the couch, carving out quality time strengthens the bond between partners and enhances the overall relationship satisfaction.

5. Experiment with Sensate Focus Exercises

Sensate focus exercises are a technique used to enhance physical and emotional intimacy between partners. They involve taking turns exploring each other's bodies through touch without the pressure of sexual performance. By focusing on sensation and pleasure, rather than orgasm or intercourse, partners can deepen their connection and explore new erogenous zones. Sensate focus exercises can be a valuable tool for increasing trust, communication, and pleasure in a long-term relationship.

6. Keep the Element of Surprise Alive

Surprises can reignite the spark in a long-term relationship. Plan unexpected date nights, surprise your partner with a sensual massage, or leave little love notes for them to find. Small gestures of surprise and thoughtfulness can go a long way in keeping the flame alive. By injecting surprises into your relationship, you create anticipation and excitement, which can translate into the bedroom.

7. Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is an essential aspect of maintaining a healthy sex life. When you prioritize your own well-being, you are better equipped to show up fully in your relationship. Take care of your physical and mental health by engaging in activities that bring you joy, reducing stress, and prioritizing self-love. By taking care of yourself,